1) Most people are in denial after a break up. They don’t want to admit that it is over because the pain is too intense. But the sooner you accept it, the faster will be the healing process. It is okay to cry and vent out your emotions but then you have to face the reality and move on.

2) You have to practice self-control. Do not sms your boyfriend, sending him blank message or messages like “I miss you.” It will hurt you even more when he doesn’t respond back.

3) Prepare yourself for the future. Be positive and reassure yourself that whatever happens is for the best. You know that you deserve better so don’t brood or sulk. Read an interesting book to distract your mind, watch fun movies, listen to spiritual chants and relax the mind, body and soul.

4) Throw away any mementos that remind you of your boyfriend -cards, stuffed toys, jewelry including emails. They will only make you dwell in the past. When he doesn’t exist in your life so why should the things be around you?

5) Confide in family and friends. Their support will help you through this ordeal.

6) Stop thinking about him and what he would be doing at this time. Avoid going to the places where you both used to sit, chat or hangout. It will only bring back old memories that have no meaning now. Go to new places, learn something new and enrich your life.

7) Change your appearance. Don’t look haggard and depressed to the world. Get a new wardrobe, change your hairstyle, visit a spa and look stylish. The new you will reflect your mindset as well.

8 ) Avoid jumping into relationships after a break up. It may give you a new high, but it may not always work. Instead, it may make you even more depressed. Enjoy good friendships but don’t get emotionally attached at an early stage.

9) Avoid being bitter and negative. The angry and loathe should slowly be removed otherwise it comes out unconsciously when you are dealing with people in the future.

10) Life is too short so you have to move on to enjoy the rest of it. The one who left you, didn’t deserve you so why should you feel bad. He is the one who couldn’t see the gem that he lost. One day, when he does, he will repent because you have moved on to a better world.

Source: Love Blog

1) Breathing Exercises: Inhaling and exhaling helps to relieve stress. It clears the mind and lungs. This technique when done regularly and correctly assists in toning the abdominal muscle.

2) Detoxify: One of the simplest way to get rid of the toxins from the body is to drink plenty of water. No other liquids works better than water mainly because it has zero calories and hydrates the body cells.

3) Balanced Meals: Eating at regular intervals like five or six times a day keep the metabolic rate going. The meals should be light and rich in nutrients providing you energy and alertness. The breakfast is the most important meal of the day and should not be skipped.

4) Mental Wellbeing: It is important to remember that everyone ages with time. So one should not obsess about their physical appearance all the time. Instead spend time doing things that they enjoy. Widen their knowledge and take interest in learning or participating in new things. The key to fitness lies in the mind.

5) Skin Care: Facial skin tends to reveal age. The fine lines around the eyes, cheeks deepen with maturity. But these can also happen prematurely if the skin is not maintained. Smoking, drinking, living life on the fast lane, excessive sun exposure or tanning etc deeply impacts the skin. A skincare routine should be followed which includes cleansing, toning, exfoliating and moisturizing (read on tips to flaunt a fresh glowing skin to understand these concepts more clearly)

6) Natural Foods: Add a portion of fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet and cut down on processed foods.

7) Fitness Regime: Exercising helps to maintain your weight. Weight training helps in toning and strengthening your muscles as you get older.

Details: An Abyss Of Imagination

Chocolate is a feel-good food; it is always associated with feelings of comfort and love. It is sweet and melts deliciously in the mouth. It induces the production of endorphins in the body, endorphins being hormones that reduce the feelings of pain in the body and makes the body feel pleasure in its stead. Chocolates are often given to children as rewards for good behavior. A lover (or a potential lover) gives a woman a box of chocolates to show his affection.

Given that chocolates do contain sugar and calories that dieting women find highly undesirable, should we women fear chocolate? The answer to this is that they should not. Eating chocolate is not something to be feared or avoided as if one’s life depends on not seeing a piece of that brown, melt-in-the-mouth sweet. Chocolate is not known to be physiologically addictive. Whatever cravings chocolate induces in a woman is all in her mind. In fact, chocolate can be beneficial, if eaten in the correct manner.

So, how should we women eat and enjoy chocolate without feeling even an iota of fear or guilt? Simply put, chocolate should be eaten in small amounts, and the experience of eating chocolate should be savored.

Chocolate should be eaten as a treat rather than a snack. If one is feeling hungry, she should eat a proper meal or a snack that is not loaded on calories. Eating chocolate when one is hungry only leads to bingeing. Besides, research has proven that consuming chocolate when one is not hungry lessens the craving for it.

Another thing about eating chocolate is that it should be eaten slowly. Chocolate should be eaten for the pure pleasure of it, so it should be savored. Feeling guilty about eating chocolate will only make the person eat it faster and consume more. One cannot taste chocolate, or anything for that matter, if it is eaten far too quickly, and one will only end up wanting more.

A third thing to remember about eating chocolate is that less is more. One will get more pleasure out of eating a small piece of dark chocolate than from a cookie laden with chocolate chips, simply because there is more chocolate in a small bar than in a cookie. If you are going to take in calories from chocolate, there is no point to adding more to your calorie count by eating something else with the chocolate.

Lastly, chocolates should be kept in a place that is not easily accessible so one would not give in to a sudden binge if the cravings hit her. It should be stored where it is not always in one’s line of sight.

Chocolates are not to be feared. They are comfort foods and should be considered as a treat and a reward to one’s self. Chocolates are good.

Article by Anna Lynn C. Sibal

A poem by by Sam Levenson
(A favourite peom of Audrey Hepburn.)

For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,
let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise,
walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone…

People, even more than things,
have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed …

Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a
helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others”.

Clothing permits us to state who we are and helps us reach our goals. When our clothing is changed, our mannerisms also change and a new set of reactions, both internal and external, affect our behavior. If we feel unattractive, we tend to withdraw and thus evoke a negative reaction from other people. If our clothing is attractive, however, we gain confidence in our appearance and demonstrate confidence in our behavior.

It is more difficult for a woman to project a clear clothing message than it is for a man. For the woman who is bridging several worlds, functioning in a professional role, as well as being a wife and mother, there is a problem of style confusion. Women must choose clothing that will carry them through several roles, sometimes in a very short time span.

Approximately 2/3 of all working-age women work in a paid job outside the home. In fact, women comprise over 40 percent of the country’s total work force. A large percentage of these women are not just working; they are planning a career, and the correct clothing should be an important part of the plan.

A look that promotes a feeling of polished and professional competency ranks highest among those who do the hiring. A professional look includes clothes, hair, makeup, and accessories that work together to create a professional image. There are certain kinds of clothes appropriate for working women. Fashion taste and good judgment are essential for an adequate and professional wardrobe. Analyze and describe the appropriate career dress for your chosen career, and then plan your wardrobe around this description. More

Senior management — usually men — typically chooses who receives coaching, often selecting up-and-comers to whom they relate best, according to Ms. Felton. “A ‘mini me’ thing happens,” she says.

The lower rate suggests that the playing field may not be quite level for women seeking to advance in management. In a competitive work environment, coaching can help managers and professionals improve skills in such areas as communication and meeting business goals.

Source

In fact, self-fulfillment ranks the highest, for more than 60 percent of the respondents in a recent survey.

The survey was conducted by the Yueji.Self, a Chinese-language magazine jointly launched this month by the Chinese-language Women of China magazine and the New York-based magazine publisher Conde Nast Publications.

“The high marks for self -fulfillment are inspiring and encouraging,” Li Yinhe, a noted sexologist and professor at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said.

“It shows big progress. More and more women want to achieve their life value, which eclipses the importance of the private life for women.

“When women start to value self fulfillment, they become more equal to men.”

In China, the traditional mindset is that men live for their careers and women live for love.

Although only about 22.5 percent surveyed prioritized love as the big happiness maker, it doesn’t mean that Chinese women no longer believe in love, Li said.

However, it demonstrated that love was no longer the most important factor for a woman to be happy in China. This is perhaps reflected in the growing trend that many Chinese women are opting to remain single.

While the dependence on love for happiness has dampened, according to the survey, so has sex.

Only about 2.2 percent of Chinese women consider sex the most valuable factor to a happy woman.

The reason, Li said, was that the word was stereotyped with negative meanings.

“A good woman should not like sex,” she said.

“Love is a beautiful word. But power, money and sex all represent the negative things.”

So it is understandable when only 0.6 percent of women chose power, the lowest among all options, the survey showed.

“The awareness and recognition of women’s empowerment are relatively low in China,” Li said. “The country has long been a patriarchial society and still is, offering less opportunities and encouragement to women to compete with men.”

“Despite the progress made in gender equality and women empowerment in recent years, only 20 percent of the National People’s Congress (NPC) members are females,” Li said.

The survey is also the first of its kind to be carried out in 15 cities on the Chinese mainland, Hong Kong and Taiwan province.

It surveyed 24,107 women aged from 25 to 35 from December 2006 and March 2007.

Women from Taiwan Province have more expectation in money, due to province’s stagnant economy and marriage culture.

As a result, a large number of women feel insecure and uncertain about their future and marriage, Lan Huaien, a Taiwan gender culture researcher and a writer, said.

The survey showed that women in Hong Kong were more romantic, with 34.3 percent of women believing that love mattered the most.

“Hong Kong women are in the drought of love,” Su Hei, a Hong Kong psychological consultant, said.

“They have raised higher standards in choosing their matches.”

Perhaps this higher standard would account for the 30-40 percent of Hong Kong men who prefer to marry women from the Chinese mainland.

On the other hand, perhaps women in Hong Kong, where material goals are easier to obtain, require more substance in the soul. Source

You can argue that this difference is due to social influences, although I suspect it’s largely innate, a byproduct of evolution and testosterone. Whatever the cause, it helps explain why men set up the traditional corporate ladder as one continual winner-take-all competition – and why that structure no longer makes sense.

Now that so many employees (and more than half of young college graduates) are women, running a business like a tournament alienates some of the most talented workers and potential executives. It also induces competition in situations where cooperation makes more sense.

The result is not good for the bottom line, as demonstrated by a study from the Catalyst research organization showing that large companies yield better returns to stockholders if they have more women in senior management. A friend of mine, a businessman who buys companies, told me one of the first things he looks at is the gender of the boss.

“The companies run by women are much more likely to survive,” he said. “The typical guy who starts a company is a competitive, charismatic leader – he’s always the firm’s top salesman – but if he leaves he takes his loyal followers with him and the company goes downhill. Women C.E.O.’s know how to hire good salespeople and create a healthy culture within the company. Plus they don’t spend 20 percent of their time in strip clubs.”

Still, for all the executive talents that women have, for all the changes that are happening in the corporate world, there will always be some jobs that women, on average, will not want as badly as men do. Some of the best-paying jobs require crazed competition and the willingness to risk big losses – going broke, never seeing your family and friends, dying young.

The women in the experiment who didn’t want to bother with a five-minute tournament are not likely to relish spending 16 hours a day on a Wall Street trading floor. It’s not fair to deny women a chance at those jobs, but it’s not realistic to expect that they’ll seek them in the same numbers that men will. More

Suddenly, a mutual acquaintance strutted by and Gloria asked a few questions about her in a hushed voice. Suffice it to say that the conversation about this mutual acquaintance was negative, critical and to put it mildly, about as nasty as you can get. After I briefed Gloria on the details, I smirked, “Well, I guess you are going to ask for forgiveness tonight when you evaluate your day?” “No, why would I do that, Debbie?” “Because you and I were gossiping just now.” “No, we weren’t.” “Oh, yes we were.” “But we were stating the facts.” “The facts were ugly and we didn’t state them to her face. I call that gossiping.” “Well, I don’t. You know what, Debbie, you are just looking to start trouble.” “Perhaps, but I think if you are going to preach, you should practice what you preach. People who believe they are absolutely right about things, scare me a bit.” What do you think?

Why we gossip
Embedded in the human psyche is the need to tell stories and belong to a group. Experts estimate that 2/3 of our conversations consist of gossip, so there must be some redeeming qualities. Gossip can make a positive contribution to social groups and relationships. I have heard it referred to by researchers as “vocal grooming,” the equivalent of chimps grooming each other’s fur for hours, even though their fur is clean; in other words it is a social thing. Also, gossip enforces values on some level. When you think about it, how do you get other people to comply with moral standards, or behave with accountability? You guessed it, gossiping about them serves as a deterrent. Gossip can be psychologically therapeutic bringing people closer together in this alienated world and that makes it a stress-buster. Sometimes the alleged stories might help out the subject of all this talk. Perhaps, you are looking to muster a team response for an intervention, or get the attention of someone in the group who feels comfortable stepping in and having a heart to heart with the person to remedy the situation.

No one should point a finger at women as the prime offenders, unable to refrain from gossiping. According to recent statistics both men and women gossip about the same subjects and just as often! However, men are more likely to gossip with fewer details and insert a lot of talk about themselves. Women are more animated in their language and like to get feedback in the form of reactions to their story.

How to talk better
Since the urge to gossip is entrenched in human nature even among the most pious who I suppose must continuously exert effort to suppress it, let’s try to make gossip more spiritual. Say good things about other people; instead of dramatizing the bad things, emphasize the good or at least give the story a compassionate spin. If you continue to bolster your own self-esteem, you wouldn’t need to malign someone else, spread the dirt, to make yourself look good by comparison. Eventually malicious gossip backfires because it makes you look like you can’t keep a secret and should not be trusted, especially if you have exaggerated the situation or relayed some false information. Consequently, instead of making you more popular in the long run, you might actually be shunned by the inner circle after they have feasted on your juicy words. People will be afraid to open up to you. Spread good news, fascinating benevolent stories to elevate the subject of your gossip. Eventually she will live up to her reputation.
By Debbie Mandel

WE’VE ALL SEEN BOTH SIDES OF GOSSIP. ONE SIDE is the warm feeling you get from spending time with a friend and sharing stories about mutual acquaintances. The other side is the stomach-churning anger, shame and frustration you feel when you realize someone is spreading bad news about you. We want to be on the right side of gossip, but sometimes it illuminates while other times it just burns.

When it’s good, it binds people and communities together. As anyone who has lived in a small community knows, gossip is something that people who share a collective identity do naturally. But rampant individualism, the fragmentation of our lifestyle and the pervasiveness of competitive striving can drive gossip and rumor down more poisonous channels.

If you want to gauge the health of an organization, tap into its grapevine, taste a sample or two, and test the toxicity. Companies that think they need to eradicate the rumor mill to clean up the culture have got it the wrong way around. Gossip is inevitable and blameless–the problem lies instead in its content, which reflects precisely what is going on in people’s minds.

Evolutionary psychology argues that human nature–our psychological architecture as much as our physical form–was shaped to survive and reproduce under a particular set of conditions. This was the existence of clan-dwelling primates, who subsisted by foraging and hunting in a savanna-like environment. It is only in recent biological times that we left the world of clan-dwelling primates for the world of agriculture, city settlements and, eventually, business organizations. We inhabit our high-tech world with Stone Age minds because there has not been enough time to change our psychology to match our environment.

In evolutionary psychology, several elements conspire to give gossip pride of place. First is the physiological capability of speech. Evolution gave us a stunning ability to vocalize by allowing the windpipe full access to the thorax and vocal chords. The second element is language. We have brains endowed with speech centers that allow every growing child to perform the greatest miracle of learning in nature–the acquisition of nearly 13,000 words by the age of six, rising to 60,000 by adulthood. This is what psycholinguist Stephen Pinker, Ph.D., has called “the language instinct.”

Thirdly, the large and complicated brain that evolution gave us to create language has also mastered the politics of complex social living. British psychologist Robin Dunbar, Ph.D., discovered a direct relationship between primate brain and clan size; we are prodigiously equipped mentally to master the subtleties of a social network of up to 150 people.

Our mental design also includes a Machiavellian intelligence–the ability to empathize and read signs that indicate each other’s motives and emotions. This is essential for “cheat detection,” a key skill in the human tribe.

These tools allow us to gossip. But what role is played by over-the-fence chat in the fate and functioning of the human animal? There are three very essential functions of gossip: networking, influence and social alliances. Find Out More